Dancing Thoughts

How can I be so full of everything and still feel so empty?

As thoughts dance through me: escalating, colors swirling, lines are fading, foraging for definition or decision, but instead I find derision and indifference and difference and deference for reference.

As thoughts dance through me: teeming tempos trending faster, lacking luster, lavish and longing, impatient and pregnant with disaster, wanting nothing that I ask for.

As thoughts dance through me: feet are tripping, arms are whipping, bodies fall like leaves in piles, crowd the corners, crossing borders, and shock my atoms out of order.

As thoughts dance through me: terse and simple, exclamation, viscous whispers, lost sensation, a numbing cold and dim halation knock me down and steal my station.

As thoughts dance on me: floored and fallen like leaves in piles, nothing left to slide inside of, nowhere left to hide and nothing left to hide from, the drumbeats fill me up like snow in potholes, loud and brash and cold.

As thoughts dance on me: waiting, panicked, for winter’s end, I tell myself I’m just pretending, mending fractured memories, lending melodies of meter and rhyme through time to make it all seem worthwhile, but it’s just a lie.

As thoughts dance on me: the sun erupts in heat and light, I eat the spring like starving trees, I sacrifice my dancing feet and falling leaves and ranging tempest storms of need and everything that makes me me.

As thoughts exhaust, they take their toll:

I’ve held my ground and hold my soul

The wounds I’ve felt

They’ve filled me full

But snow will melt

And leave a hole