Just A Little

I think about all that I am

I think about everything I believe

I think about all that I’ve been

I think about all that I’ve wanted to be

I never want to stop changing

I constantly question, I constantly try

Improving like versions of software

Erasing the files I’m leaving behind

Where do I go?

What do I do?

How can I like what I’ve been and be something new?

If I explore

The depths of my heart

I wish I could hate who I was at the start

How can a candle stand to melt away?

How can the flame look so gentle as it sways?

Cuz I’m just a little older

And just a little wiser

And just a little finer

And better a liar

And filled with little lessons that push me about

And just a little more of me finds its way out

I’m just a little lonely

And just a little broken

I’m given all the right tools

So why don’t I use them?

And if my reflections don’t know who I am

Then how will my friends ever see me again?

I think about all that I am

I think about everything I believe

I think about all that I’ve been

I think about all that I’ve wanted to be

I dither when rolling the dice

I wonder if I could get this lucky twice

And what if I do something wrong

And lose what I’ve built for myself all along

Where do I go?

What do I do?

How can I be better than me and hold onto you?

If I explore

The depths of my heart

I wish we could all wind up back at the start

What is an asteroid if it leaves the belt?

Is this how the ship of Theseus must have felt?

It’s just a little newness

It’s just a little changing

It’s just a little ember

That’s violent and raging

It’s just a little shadow that fits in a box

It’s just a little future that’s chained up with locks

I’m just another victim

I’m just another target

A merchant that works with a dangerous market

And I’m terrified that when no one’s around

Then the villain in me will burn it all down

I think about all that I am

I think about everything I believe

I think about all that I’ve been

I think about all that I’ve wanted to be

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Process: Just A Little

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The Salesman’s Offer (Marzi’s Short Stories)